she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
