I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
