If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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