Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
