You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
