Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
