I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
