Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
