went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
