Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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