i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
two words: eviction party
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
