To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
