I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
