True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
