I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
worst night to have a conscience
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
