btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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