You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
