am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
