Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am available for nakedness
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
