i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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