My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
