okay pat passed out under dana's car
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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