Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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