he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
