If i come over, it means nothing
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
