I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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