DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
