well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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