Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
