Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
