Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
