it was like eating out sand paper
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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