He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Two words: blizzard sex
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
