She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
