He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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