Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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