dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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