I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
