she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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