DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
