hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
