CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You're like the curious george of whores
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
