never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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