she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
FUCK WHALES
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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