No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
