I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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