I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
