i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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