I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
