I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Someone came in the potted fern
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
